Breaking Up Over Money
The number one cause of breakups and divorces around the world isn’t what most people think it is. It isn’t infidelity, in spite of the high number of people in relationships admitting to cheating. Instead, it is arguments over money. If spending is a problem in your relationship, then it’s time to make serious changes or risk losing the love that’s so important to you.
Do You Have Arguments over Your Spending?
There are plenty of things to argue about in relationships today. Most couples don’t need any help finding a few meaty bones of contention. However, arguments over money and the financial foundation of the relationship and/or family tend to be some of the weightiest arguments couples today can have. Before you head on over to Divorce Court or book your stay at Heartbreak Hotel, however, it’s a good idea to try a few simply strategies to keep your arguments over spending from becoming harbingers of doom for your relationship.
- Focus on a Solution to Your Spending Dilemma. Instead of feeling guilty, angry, or putout; seek solutions that leave you both feeling as though your voice is being heard and your needs are being met. The key is to come up with those solutions together.
- Create a Family Budget. Whether yours is a family of two or there are children involved in the relationship, there needs to be a budget that covers everyone as much as possible and leaves everyone with a little money to spend on whatever floats your boat. The secret to success is to keep the purchases small so they can continue and avoid purchases that will unseat the budget for necessities within the month.
- Keep Separate Accounts. It’s one thing to have a joint account for the monthly bills. However, both of you need private money to spend. The best way to do this is to have both of you contributing to the monthly bills and savings from your own accounts and then each of you having a little bit left over at the end of the bills to devote to your own pleasure.
- Get Help if Spending is Becoming too Big to Handle on Your Own. Some spending issues are simply symptoms of a bigger overall problem. It could be compulsive spending or even a shopping addiction that fills a very real emotional void. If spending is beginning to cause problems with other relationships in your life, then it’s time to get help so you can move on to a more normal life than you’ve experienced in the past.
Spending can be a real problem for relationships — especially if it’s ignored. The problem with spending becoming a problem is that it will never get fixed if it isn’t seen for the problem that it is and addressed as a problem and not a minor annoyance.