How to Deal with Seeing Your Ex Unexpectedly
You got the wind knocked out of your sails with the breakup. You had a few rough days, weeks, maybe even months. But, you finally started getting back out there in the real world.
You’re hitting the town with your friends. You’re working out at the gym. And you’re trying like mad to at least look like you’re getting on with your life – no matter how much you want her back.
You’re doing good. You’re looking good. Girls are starting to smile and flirt with you. You’re Superman.
Out of the blue, she walks into the room and it feels like you’ve been hit in the gut with a kryptonite fist.
Your mouth gets dry. Your palms get sweaty. Your tongue suddenly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and you’re caught between a sudden overwhelming urge to flee and a simultaneous but equally powerful urge to beg her to take you back.
What do you do?
You say something about how it’s great to see her and make a hasty retreat.
It’s only after you’re out of her presence that you begin to think of all the things you could have, should have, or would have said if you’d been able to think clearly at the time.
Then you engage in a fantasy replay of how things would have shaken out if you’d just been able to speak. But, wouldn’t it be nice if you could think of these things ahead of time and have a good idea of what to say to her when the moment arrives?
Believe me it would! Especially if you’re interested in getting her back.
Stop getting sucker punched by her presence. Take back the power and let her see you in a new light. You can control the conversation and how it plays out as long as you plan ahead for when that moment comes.
I’m not talking about arranging an “accidental” meeting. That’s not the right idea in this situation. But, you do want to have a plan for what you’ll say to her when your paths do cross so that you don’t look like you’re either avoiding her, running away from her, or angry with her for the breakup.
Time heals a lot of old wounds. You might be surprised to discover that she’s probably just as nervous about the encounter as you are – even though she’s the one who broke up with you.
So what should you say?
- Keep it short.
- Keep it light.
- Avoid bringing up the past – leave that to her.
Keep these things in mind. Write a script for yourself. Memorize the script. Practice it in the mirror. Do whatever you have to do so that it’s second nature and the next time your paths cross you’ll be ready.